Well, I just landed in Las Vegas for baseball's winter meetings. Yeah, I'm a little late, but I figured someone needed to get this party started in a proper style.

So I see CC Sabathia has taken the Yankees up on their offer. Not so fast. After all, the day before reports were he declined their offer. So let let me make a pitch for him. You want to hit CC in the National League? My new team, the Bartsch Bombers will let you bat fourth. We're located wherever you want to play, so I guess it's somewhere in California.

There, now you don't have to play in New York - where you really don't want to play in the first place and you only took their offer because the Player Association makes you take the highest offer to not upset the market.

Now I'll head to the hotel "lobby" where all the real action takes place. According to "sources," Barry Bonds is not on any teams' radar. Hmm, he likes to play in California, too, maybe I can sign him as well.

Rumors are flying that Seattle wants to trade their closer, JJ Putz. Perhaps I can offer them some advice instead. Keep your pitching, lord knows you need it after handcuffing yourself financially on such great hitters as Adrian Beltre and Richie Sexson. Maybe I can trade some vineyard land my team will play on for Putz.

So I have a starter, closer and an outfielder. I don't need any more pitching because CC can pitch every day, and then I'll have Putz pitch the eighth and ninth innings every other day.

To fill out the rest of my roster, I'll just wait until February, when all these lesser tier free agents start to get really antsy because they still don't have a job. They wonder why they are still "free" when they are asking for $3-$5 million a year to hit .240. Meanwhile, the rest of the teams blew all their cash on Scott Boras' clients, so I can scoop in with a lowball offer.

With my team of Bonds, Sabathia, Putz and a cast of also-rans, I figure I can still beat the Reds, Nationals, Rockies and Pirates. Not bad for an expansion team.

And this just in: Sabathia has spurned the Bartsch Bombers and will take the 2008 season off to join a European basketball team.

Shoot, I'll have to rethink my strategy.